EntertainmentThe Onion

‘United 93’ Director Announces Remastered Edition Digitally Removing WTC From Film

LOS ANGELES—Explaining that he doesn’t want the presence of the buildings to distract from the film’s core message of hope and friendship, director Paul Greengrass announced Wednesday a remastered edition of United 93 that will have the World Trade Center digitally removed. “In order to avoid forcing people to relive the trauma of 9/11, we are working with a graphics team to remove the Twin Towers from all the background shots of United 93 for the upcoming remastered release,” said Greengrass, explaining that for many Americans the World Trade Center buildings were a distressing symbol of the tragic attacks of 9/11 and failing to digitally delete the structures from the Manhattan skyline would distract from the film’s human story of overcoming challenging obstacles. “I mean, sure, historically speaking, the towers should be there, but keeping them in would unintentionally make the terrorist hijackings of that day a focal point of the story, which is the last thing I want, as the film has nothing to do with them. In the new version, the skyline will be altered to not include the WTC and the planes will safely travel to their destinations without a hitch, which I hope will provide audiences with a much more comfortable viewing experience.” Greengrass told reporters that the measure came in the wake of similar decisions by the directors of Fahrenheit 9/11, World Trade Center, and 25th Hour.

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